Uncharacteristically Gregarious Bro

The thing about Kels was you always liked her mom and didn’t mind hanging out with the two of them, her mom being like an older thicker version of Kels: you could tell, especially when she was wearing makeup and had her hair pinned up, that she’d been smoking hot back in the day. You’d look at Kels and then at her mom and think, There’s the future right there, and the future didn’t look bad at all. Not that you would’ve banged her mom or even wanted to, but say you had to, to save the world or something, you definitely could. You probably wouldn’t even have trouble getting it up for Kels’s mom, unless due to the stress of the world being about to end. Not that you think about screwing Kels’s mom on the regular, just sometimes you’ve been at the house for dinner and she’s leaned across you in this particular way while clearing the table and then you’ve been like, Could I? Definitely.

Whenever you and Kels were having sex she’d get this look of intense concentration that from some angles could be confused with sadness or even fear, and you’d always have to stop and ask her if she was okay. She’d be like, Yeah, yeah, but she’d say it in this really small tight voice and then be completely silent while you were doing your thing, and you could only tell if she was into it or not by how tight her hands were clenching your arms. Once she left a row of fingerprint bruises on your triceps and all the next day you couldn’t stop flexing and looking at them, remembering what her face looked like when she came, or when you think she came, not that you could be totally sure because she didn’t make a single sound until you rolled off her and then she pushed her hair back and said, “I’m going to go pee.”

You always assumed she was quiet so her mom or your parents wouldn’t hear, but the odd thing is, whenever you’re messing around pre-sex or on some day when you’re not even going to have sex, because she’s on her period or she gave it up for Lent or something, if you start giving her a hickey she goes nuts, wiggling around and moaning like a porn star. It’s weird that she gets so hot about you sucking on her neck, but then again she’s always watching Twilight and talking with her girls about would they be on Team Edward or Team Jacob?