You say the guys in speedos are fit, super-toned; they’re all young swim team Adonises with Hawkeye tattoos blazed across their sleek shoulders. Have I seen them?

I have maybe seen them once or twice, only by accident, stretching after a run and glancing down into the pool from the track above. I may have noticed those shoulders, the inevitable tattoo, or sometimes no tattoo, just the shoulders, sometimes, yes.

Now you’re pinching your small paunch sadly between your fingers, saying you wear the Lycra because it reminds you that you still have to drop a few pounds. You want to know if I’m into “dudes who look like Ryan Lochte,” and whether I’m a student.

You are a structural engineer. You graduated a few years ago but you like coming back, especially now that they have the new pool and the sauna and steam room. It’s nice in here, isn’t it, hot but not too hot? The thermostat says 200 but it doesn’t feel like 200. You’re on lunch break and have to head back to the office to figure out how to get the walls to bear the weight of the ceiling or whatever it is you do, but you wish you could stay in the sauna forever.

I say I don’t think I could possibly last that long in here. I’d sweat out, I’d pucker, I’d shrivel to a husk.

You seem unconcerned. Come here often? is what you’re now asking me.