COURSE SELECTION (select course):

1. [__] PICK UP THE KIDS BEFORE SCHOOL/DRIVE THEM HOME AFTER SCHOOL TRAINING

2. [__] FIND OUT WHERE THE KIDS ARE GOING TRAINING

3. [__] THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND SONG TRAINING (mandatory)

At Diesel House, Lawrence had developed a strong aversion to the letter X. An abundance of nameless Orphanites had legally named themselves Dr. X upon release on their eighteenth birthdays and, in order to combat this, Diesel House had started teaching that the letter X was imbued with countless pejorative qualities. And so, when filling out his SBDS forms, Lawrence Fountaingale’s eyes lit up as he read training option number 2. He put a great big X through the box of training option 1. to note this was his last choice and left the rest blank to ensure that his first choice be cast definitively. His first day of SBDS was not a pleasing one.   

Chapter Three: Deborah Salivates Over a Dick

Trevor Dickington was a collector of many fine and rare items. It was his thing. Most guys at work collected little other than porn, weapons, and alimony papers. But Trevor had an eye for the extraordinary, which is why after he threw his ex-wife’s alimony papers and her lawyer into the local incinerator, he spent the rest of his income and down time hunting for the rarified. Trevor had never found value in family, a hard day’s work, or composing mind-poems while watching the sun set. Trevor’s entire self-worth rested in his trophy room, his collectables, the items no one else possessed.