URGENT MEMO
FROM: Ban Ki-moon, U.N. Secretary General
TO: Staff of Aleppo Restaurant
DATE: 06-20-2012
RE: Possible Lunch Order
As you already know, I have authorized and dispatched a civilian observer force to document and confirm that you do in fact offer a delicious lunch special. I, Ban Ki-moon, U.N. Secretary General, am considering ordering said lunch special.
My observational force has documented that you are, in fact, a functioning restaurant. However, my observers have reported that they have been barred from entering the kitchen and their observations have been confined to the bar and dining area. This unacceptable behavior on your part flies in the face of all conventional international ordering norms. I strongly call upon you to allow civilian observations in all areas of your restaurant.
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URGENT MEMO
FROM: Ban Ki-moon, U.N. Secretary General
TO: Staff of Aleppo Restaurant
DATE: 06-23-2012
RE: RE: Possible Lunch Order
Over the past several days, my staff members have received consistent reports that your restaurant continues to offer a delicious and affordable lunch special. This lunch special has been confirmed in the Zagat Guide, The New York Times Food section, and numerous outstanding Yelp reviews.
I remain skeptical however. I would like to reiterate my strongly worded call to your restaurant management: you must allow civilian observers to walk into your kitchen and sample your food completely unsupervised. Until your lunch special has been documented by U.N. staff, my hands are tied.
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URGENT MEMO
FROM: Ban Ki-moon, U.N. Secretary General
TO: Staff of Aleppo Restaurant
DATE: 06-27-2012
RE: RE: RE: Possible Lunch Order
First of all, thank you for finally acquiescing to my demands and allowing a team of U.N. observers to enter your kitchen area and confirm that your lunch special is indeed delicious and affordable.
My staff witnessed the cooking of high quality Syrian cuisine directly in front of them. They documented, via both photographic evidence and witness testimony, that your lunch special is indeed “a good deal for the money.”
As a result, I am now prepared to issue my strongest statement to date: I, Ban Ki-moon, Secretary General of the United Nations, do hereby intend to order from your restaurant at some point in the next week.
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URGENT MEMO
FROM: Ban Ki-moon, U.N. Secretary General
TO: Staff of Aleppo Restaurant
DATE: 06-29-2012
RE: RE: RE: RE: Possible Lunch Order